Earlier today, David explained his plan for transporting his first round of cars to LA from Detroit in an epic roadtrip with Otto and Jason. I am skeptical of this plan for many reasons, but misery is great content so I’m looking forward to reading about it. Plus, I adore Jason and Otto and any time spent with them is worth whatever inevitable hassle they may face. I would not, however, confuse Jason and my Lord-and-Savior, Jesus Christ, which is more than I can say for Man With A Reliable Jeep:
As a practicing Lutheran (shout out Frozen Chosen!) I guess this should bother me? But as the Publisher of this site and, ultimately, the person responsible for making us enough money to stick around (work-in-progress), there’s probably a huge upside to all of you confusing those two from a monetary standpoint. So let’s Joel Osteen it up! Your cars will never die if you GIVE, GIVE, GIVE to the Holy Jason. As a Catholic, I have no problem replacing one of the Jews in that painting with a different one. Lest anyone forgets, the great Mel Brooks (in History of the World, part 1) filmed a scene where the Apostles were having supper and Leonardo da Vinci shows up to paint the scene. The reason everybody is on the same side of the table is because Leonardo did not want to paint anyone’s backside. A sunny afternoon in Jerusalem, Jason is speaking to the gathered crowd. Jason: Thou shall not cover thy neighbor’s taillights. Random guy in the crowd: Hey man, I thought you were taller. Jason: are you fucking kidding me right now? I mean I guess cover works too. Stupid autocorrect. Now, if you all don’t mind, I have some Hail Marys to say… Jesus starts with a J and was Jewish. Coincidence, I think not. Hannukah Sameach to all our Jewish friends out there and let the latkes be tasty and the sour cream fresh! Not as fast as the cream cheese, though, the first two units I put my hands on went straight from the pallet to a waiting customer without ever touching the shelf. You’re doing the Lord’s work this holiday season, dear Grocery Store Worker. Or is it Jason’s work? Generations of faith-based automotive writers will puzzle over this conundrum for centuries to come. David’s penchant for self torture never gets old, and Torch going along for the ride to write the comedy is on brand. But why subject young Otto to two weeks of sleeping in AutoZone parking lots in the back of the Jeep while DT wrenches on the Mustang without his frozen tools? side eye Evangelical or Missouri Synod? “J-man was born on December 25th.” What does this mean? We should fear and love God and celebrate the birth of our Lord and Savior, Jason Torchinsky, by downing boxes of chocolates, calling our families and working on hopelessly failed projects. I thought you said you were a practicing Lutheran… Personally, I think Lutheranism is about singing, coffee hour, potlucks, and beer. I think there was some Sunday storytime in there as well. (Yes, I was raised Lutheran. Thankfully ELCA, which was more casual.) Trust in our Lady of the Holy Tail Lights. Let her shine as a beacon of hope in a sea of generic lights. Let it be known that a car with 50hp is enough, though you shall have the holy right to have more. https://www.antiquetrader.com/collectibles/misprint-in-wicked-bible-endorses-hanky-panky
