I got the truck and a tow strap, looped one end through her Hyundai’s towing eye and the other around my tow hitch. I got in, put it in the granny gear first, and slowly let off the clutch and on the gas. At first, I got some wheelspin, not surprising with cold tires and an empty bed, but pretty soon there was a lurch and a satisfying sensation of mass and motion, and holy shit, the car was freed! Way to go, Marshal! You made someone’s night significantly less terrible and expensive! I did have to replace the serpentine belt tensioner sorta recently, too, but once I did that, this old brute has been pretty rock solid. Plus, modern tow straps are incredible. The one I used looks like something you’d have on a duffel bag but can hold like 5,000 plus pounds. How the hell do they do that? Denial isn’t just a river in Egypt, Hardigree Also, any time I hear “mitzvah” I think of that Letterkenny episode. So thanks for putting that in my brain for the day. Maybe I should change the first line to “A friend needs help, you help ’em” Anyone here know the secret? Good job, Jason. Note: breaking strength and working strength are not the same. Generally speaking, a rope or strap’s safe working load is 1/10 its breaking strength. To chime in on the ironic stuck 4x4s story dogpile and hopelessly mix metaphors, in the mid 90’s we had a big snow storm in the Seattle area and everyone was told we didn’t have to come in, but I was doing tech support at Sierra and decided to try to get in to work because A) I am a wonderful employee and 2) I needed the hours, so I jumped in my POS ’84 Skyhawk and motored along the unplowed roads to get on the highway and make my way to the office. On the interchange between I 405 and I 90 I look over and there was an H1 Hummer that had somehow wound up in the ditch and the (insert stereotypical yuppie appearance joke here) driver was standing along side with one of those fancy cell phones calling for help. Or his broker. But in either case he obviously didn’t know how to drive a very expensive. near military grade 4WD vehicle in the snow, nor how to extricate himself from the ditch using same vehicle. There wasn’t much I could have done other than take his keys away so I just continued past in my FWD ’84 Skyhawk with the smashed rear fender and went to make bootdisks so people could play Aces Over Europe. She was super young, and had been scared to death wondering if she was going to have to call into her superiors and get a tow truck dispatched. 5 minutes later she was super relieved and on her way to complete her route. Small things can make a big difference to people. The already-lowered Beetle was sunk in the sand up to the rear bumper. After I futzed around for a bit, a local braddah drove over with his large pickup and backed it up to my car. He got out, attached a tow strap to his truck, held up the other end, and simply said “Where do you want me to hook this up?”. He pulled my car out of the sand and I was extremely grateful. Still am, actually. I offered him lunch, a case of beer, etc. as a thank you but he was waiting for his kid to get out of school across the street and saw I needed help. He said “just a mahalo would be good”. (Mahalo is Hawai’ian for thank you.) I shook his hand and thanked him profusely, then we went on our respective ways. He was a mensch, and so were you, Torch. Damn though, I need to get my damn D100 on the road! I want to do more pickup truck things! The ears are those big holes or loops on both sides of the receiver. That’s what they’re there for; recovery straps and hooks (since the hitch blocks typical recovery hooks.) Even if you were right, the truck doesn’t have one. Most people really should keep basics in their cars- including a tow strap, especially in small cars in winter states. A lot of people in trucks or Jeeps would pull you out, but they don’t carry one with them. Electrical extensions work in a pinch. Also, dog tax. (He’s worried that the US isn’t going to be majority white, eventually. It’s an account that should be banned.) Anyway, nice work Jason! That’s what trucks are for. Welcome to the club and keep on truckin’.

The Marshal To The Rescue  Cold Start - 23